Just Shame And Disgust !!!

It's a un-usual Sunday morning.. Just finished reading through the headlines..
My mind is at unrest and I really don't know why??... But I am not the only one, Maybe the entire nation itself doesn't know what the unrest is all about??
I am disappointed and full of grave grief.. All this on new year's eve!!!!..
Well it's not about the New year..
I am just saddened by the irony here -On new year's eve,We gear up to celebrate just for a day and forget about it for the rest of the year.. Pretty much like the sacrifice of the 23 year old rape crucified girl ... She is HISTORY now and we must admit with shallow pride that this case will surely bag a place in top headlines for the past year or maybe even in children's text books..
Because That is our nation's grand salute for the brave-heart.. This is the most we could do for her..

It's a grave shame.. I see the unrest in people but it is pointless..
Majority of them don't even know what the fight is all about..
Forget about the common man, just look at the politicians..
I am tired of reading names and the blame games of not taking ownership.. Everyone is busy blaming the other..
Some section of the society is even blaming the girl itself for being a spoiler by roaming around on the streets with a "boy-friend"..
I am sheerly disgusted at the mindset..
DO ANY OF US HAVE THE SLIGHTEST IDEA OF WHAT THIS FIGHT IS ALL ABOUT???...
I want to shout out loud because I'm going crazy.
And why should I not be crazy.. I am a girl too ..

Admist all this furore in the Capital city, I can see the terror in the eye's of my own parents and my well-wishers..
All they have to say to me is that I should stay safe(rather play safe)..
What that means precisely is -
(a) I should stop going out.
(b) If at all it is necessary I should go and be back during the daylight.
(c) I should stop being PAINTED anymore( For those who don't get the pun intended here,please refer to the controversial DENTED and PAINTED remarks of Mr. Abhijit Mukherjee)
(d) I should resist going out with my male friends ( Although its a big ? on why should I have male friends in the first place)

Now Is this the thinking of a progressive liberated society? 
We take such pride in announcing equal rights for both men and women.. Oh really!!!.. Do they even exist.. I seriously doubt that.
I don't recollect any memories of me being taught to grow up and behave like a BRAVE WOMAN...
It was always about being shy,subdued,supressed,helpless and possibly so weak and vain to always put out a display of a DAMSEL IN DISTRESS.
And why?... Because this is our TEHZEEB, our so called culture.. I hate this..

How can we talk of a revolution now??.. After all this has happened and is happening since ages !!!
When the foundation itself is crippled, how can we talk of building strong monuments??.. Is it remotely possible?.. I shamefully doubt that.

We, the girls have to fight for our identity at every step.. And the fight is not only against the rapists in the society..
The fight is with our own people- who fail to reognise our worth, who don't have the sheer guts to support our steps, who lack the conviction to believe in us.
I am really short of words.. It is not about the struggle of one girl who succumbed to death braving the ill's of the society.
It is about all of US - The so called Dented and Painted section of the society.
We have dreams.. We have desires.. We have the strong will to make it through..
But sadly, what we don't have or will ever have is - SUPPORT..



Now, This is my question to the so called uproaring section of the society - " What would you have done if it ( the rape ) was happening before your eyes??"
I am sure all of you will go numb !!!
You can talk big shit on cameras, interviews,TV's,blogs,newspapers and what not...
But when it comes to showing it, You are SO HOLLOW.. You can't do much and just talk..
Just do one thing- Sit at your home with your opinions because WE DON'T CARE..


MAYBE WE WOULD HAVE TO FIGHT AND DIE A MILLION DEATHS BUT WE WILL SURELY FIND OUR WAY.

- Grand Salute to the departed soul

It's Not so Ordinary-i-yummmmmmm

Fresh outta school !!
So many new faces, new names, new subjects, new place - d world was entirely new..
I found myself lost for a bit.. ...
All of us were trying to find a niche, trying to figure out a bestie in the odd diverse lot of people...
For the first few days everyone was trying to be extra nice, infact everything with an extra emphasis.... How can i forget the extra long gazes and super strong glances...

Anyways all this was out of my picture, as if I had found my ultimate karma in life and as if I was born to be a Computer Applications expert only.. LOL
If i think of it today i feel i had been quite a nerd in the first few days, all too airy about my own self.... Part of it attributes to my punjabi background where everything is supposed to be so loud, impromptu and unintentional- probably like an occasional fart :)
Having performed well in school and getting admission into a renowned institute was such a - "Winning the grammies" kind of moment for me..  Although I was not super duper intelligent to walk seamlessly into IIT ,but whatever it was i held up my head high to walk as if there was no looking back.. Gosh!! how can i forget the lecturers for being such a spoiler.. They were giving me way too much attention.. Bang there used to be question and straight up used to go my hand.. LOL .. i was still a kid way too competitive and i guess all others around me were too,
.... but my attempt was way too obvious and noticeable..
Well through my observation,I had already sensed I was the only one and i had way established my territory !!!!

Well it was a usual noisy morning and we were all waiting for the lecture to start...
I had coveniently secured my favourite place in the class, typically in the front bench rows..
I saw the door opening and there i saw someone walking in..
It was a dusky, tall, thin girl dressed away in a dark cotton typical knee length suit, ting-tong gold ear-rings, shabbily tied up hair with just a casual clutcher to hold her extra long tresses back...
She walked towards the room with a BIG bag.. I would have dismissed thinking her to be just another serious lecturer walking in to do her job..
But hey she walked towards the last row and sat away with ease..

 

I thought to myself - "Now what the hell? What is she doing here.. For god's sake atleast please leave this place.. Guess madam is in a wrong place..!!!"
I mean she would have easily bagged herself a place in the IIT.. And Come on she looked so studious and i could not ignore the fact that she was a South Indian
(We people in the North always hold an opinion that South Indians are way more intellectual than we are. I was no exception and I had the same perception.)
I tried hard not to notice her but i don't know something was either too special or either very eerie about her !!!!

It was too hard to ignore her.. My mind was jostled for the next few days observing her moves and mannerisms.. I mean she never used to talk to anyone, used to enter the room and just sit at the back bench only..
It was strange and I thought she was deliberately trying to act cool by doing this..
Whatever it was I was happy that I had finally found some people to talk to unlike her...
While in the first few days most of used to shy away from opening our home-made lunch-boxes,
she just used to sit anywhere(i mean anywhere literally) and eat it away without inhibitions or without even thinking if someone was staring at her..

During regular class sessions,
The Lecturer remarked looking at her - "So you are Ramya".. She sternly replied from the back - "Its K. Ramya !!!" ( mind the emphasis on the K and the . )
 .......   God !!!! My jaw dropped looking at the strange attitude she potrayed standing out for herself in front of the whole batch with such courage  ...........
I was definiately taken aback because in an odd lot of 60 diverse people she was the only one who was challenging my ego way too hard..
And the fact that she was not approaching me to talk to - was all the way even more annoying.. ( Proves yet again that i was way too airy about my own self )

It was a casual break during the lectures and I was busy explaining C++ concepts to few of my new found friends(as if I knew everything).. Just then, She approached me interrupting my gyaan session and very casually she said - "Gurpreet - Can I have your notes for a moment ?? "..
I chuckled to myself with an evil grin thinking "So now she finally gotta know who's the Boss !!!!" and I obliged giving away my notes,
Unaware of the fact that the feeling was mutual - a strange feeling of getting to know each other more than what just met the eye.

I was slowly giving in..giving into the charms of my competitor.. 
She was an established player i must admit..
If not anything else I was developing a strong affinity for the south indian food and a hint of coconut in everything she brought..
I got to share her lunch and that was one of the very strong reasons of me being so nice with her..
She was strangely and slowly making a way out.. a way out into my world !!!!


While all of us girls would be busy making deliberate attempts to keep in sync with the crowd,
she would just walk up to college in just anything of her choice.. and still be so comfortable to carry herself off..... So unlike me because I was so intimidated by the "oh so HEP !!" lot of the batch..


There were strong flares of tomyboish-ness in her personality.. I mean if you would just notice her walk or the way she talked - She would not look or sound normal..
JAATA HUN !!    KARTA HUN !!   MAIN NAHI KHEL RA !! ...
I had no idea what terminology she used or why..and most importantly what she was trying to prove by that.. ?????


During the exams while all of us would be busy mugging up books during the day time.. she would just be sleeping her day out, listening to Mohammad Rafi songs, giving missed calls in line to all of us, forwarding text messages, dialling odd phone numbers.....
or maybe catching up an old movie which probably she has watched over a hundred times while growing up..  I never saw her getting even slightly anxious at the thought of studying.. Yet she was just at par with me at the scoring front..
I fail to understand that magic even today... !!!!


Girls usually die over chocolates and cakes but AIYOO RAMA!!! she hated that stuff.. LOL
She would cheekily share the spiciest of talks but it was suprising to see how she could not manage to munch even the slightest of spices in the food..
I mean she would literally have a running nose and watery eyes having eaten even a bit of KURKURE :) 


We girls never knew the basics of the trade - I mean fishing ;) ;) ;) ... But she was a master ..
She would take coaching classes and occasionally drop in the silliest of ideas and the nicest of tactics for starters.. She taught us the art of figuring out eye-candies in an odd lot of guys..
I don't know from where all this gyaan flowed into her head but she was -  witty, funny and smart.. All what I was not .. not even close to that..


If you ever had a problem and don't know what to do or where to go,
then definiately you should be looking out for K.Ramya because strangely she had all the answers to even life's most difficult problems..
She would just patiently hear every bit of your story and then pour out the verdict so casually, so frankly and so honestly..


In college usually people tend to beg/borrow/steal projects and manage year-end submissions..
But strangely we had a rebel in our group who would make us come to a desserted college during the holidays and sleep over learning .Net .... She would just go tick tick tick sincerely on the keyboard and we would be joking around the campus, finally to sit back and understand the high-end concepts she would apply for coding the project.. Yes she made us sit and understand that all without caring if we were even slightly interested or not... :)
This girl had a vision and the wit to get things moving..
No matter how difficult a task it would be, she would make it amazingly simple..


This was just what she preferred to show to us..
During the final year days we learnt that while we were just trying to bag a single Bachelor's degree
she was already in the process of acquiring a Master's.. LOL .. yes she was putting dual effort all this while managing two courses at a time and Somehow we supposedly never got a hint of it ever.. I am short of words for appreciation here..


Well at this point I'll admit I found myself way badly beaten up by her experience..
She was exceptionally good and I learnt that life was not all about books..
She had amazing fundaaa's in life and I was picking bits and pieces of her commendable knowledge.. I knew i had to learn a lot from her..

No doubt she had already bagged a special place in my heart and I didn't realise how fast the college days slipped away..


Two years down the line after finishing the grads,
A busy night in Pune and I get a call from K.Ramya.. "Gurpreet, I have finally said YES and I'm gonna get married"..
I could'nt believe my ears for a moment, specially if it was coming from K.Ramya.. well while listening to her engagement saga, I could already sense that she was in love too (although it was a purely arranged match up)..
Yet again she amazed me with a side I never knew all these years..
I thought she was way too high-headed n professional and marriage was definiately not her kind of stuff.. i mean yes but not so early..
Suprised to say that she was the first of our group to get hitched..


I got the "Saubhagayam" of attending her marriage.. Yes i was way excited and she was the same K.Ramya for me.. My bestie in college - Dusky,careless,unkempt and carefree..
Well I am too proud to share that K.Ramya broke this myth on the wedding day..
She was looking exceptionally beautiful on the D-day, as if she was saving her beauty all this while from the eye's of the world only to reveal it at the right moment and at the right time..
I could not believe my eyes and my heart drimmed with mixed feelings at the thought of her making a move into someone's life finally..
For a moment all the wonderful time spent with her just zapped out as a slideshow in my mind..
I was happy to witness the transformation - a tomboyish girl finally taking vows and taking over to the role of a responsible wife..


One fine day,
my mailbox notifications read - You've got 1 new mail !!!!...
Well it was from K.Ramya and i was as excited as ever to catch up with the bits in her life..
Yet another suprise was awaiting.. "Gurpreet, I think I am expecting"..
I burst out into laughter because I was taken into the flashback..
She used to hate kids - Badly!!!! She couldn't just stand being nice to kids..and handling a kid was in no way on her cards......... It's been an year now and she is a proud mommy of a cute baby boy.. ..
She just banished it away all at once..


She is a working professional, a perfect home-maker, a loving wife, a responsible daughter-in-law and a doting mother all at once.. It's strange but she busted my thoughts about her at every step of life..

 

Take-away from this episode,

Every ordinary looking person is not so ordinary..  There is always something very special in every normal person that never ever probably meets the eye..
So, Next time just don't dismiss someone for being so ordinary -
Go closer and see for yourself !!!


Who knows you may loose out on an opportunity of having known one of the most awesome souls on earth !!!


 

Don't Wait To Read This ;) ;)

Q: "Aaaannnnn... I wannaaaaa have that toy(rolling on the floor).. I want it!!...I want it!!....I want it!!"
A: "You are Momma's good girl right(with a stern terrifying look) ?? .. Good !!! I will get you the best one when the time is right"

Q: "Mom!! Can I get my eyebrows done??"
A: "Ehennn...U are still too young.. Concentrate on your studies n Don't talk too much"

Q: "Dad!! All my school friends are going for a movie.. I was thinking If I can join too.. Can I ??
A: "NO..And I don't want arguments.. NO IF'S And BUT'S ... A Simple NO means a NO.. You are not that BIG enough Girl !!"

Q: "Mom you remember that guy from my school.. my classmate.. tall, handsome... He said He likes me!!"
A: "What??... So you people go to school for such stuff.. I want to meet your class Teacher.. Keep away from Guys m telling you!!!.. Pretty early a stage for you to think of such stuff"

Q: "Dad!! I want a new mobile - the latest one"
A: "Do you have any idea about your latest syllabus for the current Semester?? Study n Prove urself worthy of expensive stuff"

Q: "Mom!! We girls are planning a night out at Saumya's place.. Can I go??.. Please.. Just for once??"
A: "Ask your Dad.. I don't know.. Your demands are on a high these days.. Your Dad isn't in the best of his moods.. Besides I don't think you will get the permission"

Q: "I Like Him Yaar.. What do you think should I tell him ??"
A: "Hmm... Are You sure.. Hold on and gauge his feelings for some more time"

Q: "I am not happy with my job.. Shall I switch ??"
A: "Hmmmmm... I don't think the market is right.. Speculate and  take steps only when it's time !!"

General Inference : WAIT !!!

As the Chakra of Life revolves the one constant thing that we learn or rather tend to practice is to - WAIT.
.
.
And why not??
.
.

"Putting off or delaying things until something else happens" - It just sounds so simple.
Well we all like simplicity and we prefer to just "leave it" n "wait".
Wait..Wait Again..Some More Wait..Still More Wait...Mmmmm Wait...Hmmmm
Wait...Wait...............................

Well if you give WAIT such WEIGHT then your FATE definiately is at STAKE ;)
Why is it that we wait for things to come our way.. wait to see if things get all right all by themselves.. wait to cherish what we have.. most of all Wait to show Love and Care ...
It so happens that we focus on all the wrong things while waiting for the percieved right things and loose it all.. well we realise only when its gone !!!!.. n we still wait for things to get better..LOL

I absolutely hate it to - WAIT but sometimes you just don't have an option... But if you do see options GO BANG ON , cos you never know a little wait might just take away all you could have had..
It's a little tricky but give it a thought !!


I was gearing up for the Board Examinations(Grade 10) and the only thing on a HIGH was the Study Pressure. It was a usual Cold Delhi night-calm,silent,serene and we all were asleep. Just then the phone rung and I saw Mom and Dad rushing somewhere. Unaware of the crisis I just went off to sleep. Next day I learnt that the cold dark night swept away my closest pal silently with it. I had lost my maternal uncle , he succumbed to death fighting a heart valve failure.
The only thing buzzing in my mind was his very last words to me on the call a day before -
"All the Best.. I know you are going to excel in whatever you do in life. We will meet soon"....
I was just waiting for the exams to get over. And it turned out to be the wait of a lifetime.

I had a friend and I loved talking to him.. Somehow over the time we both just got busy in our respective lives, lost touch and the process of waiting introduced a new element in our friendship called EGO. I used to see his social networking posts and crib to myself that he has all the time in the world to go GA GA on the internet but he can't call to check whats up with me.
Maybe he would have thought the same about me.
We never talked again..And then one day the news came that he was no more !!!
I was taken aback because I knew what I had lost just while waiting for him to make a move.. I realised I would never be able to talk to him..never again..
The only question that comes to my mind everytime I think of him is - " Why did I Wait??? "



Well don't be so scared !!! .. That's what WAIT costed me..
I chose to symbolise it in the extremist way..Your tryst with it can be a bit different.
Besides what i just mentioned there can be 'n' number of reasons for waiting.
 Like - You think It's not the perfect time, You fear rejecion, You have doubts on your capabilities.....

On this note I can't help myself from bringing in some general candid real life situations.
So picture this..

You just had a scuffle with your loved one - like a disagreement, an argument or a little misunderstanding over usual stuff.
Well you might have already guessed what I'm trying to get to.
Yeah!!! I mean both - you and your loved one will just wait for the other person to take the initiative and set things right, to apologise or to make up for the fight. But Hey That's not so simple :)
Just in case if there is no effort from either side, then definiately you have a problem at hand.
Well who's the culprit here - STUPID WAIT !!!!


You have hot's for somebody really special ;) You both are the closest of friends.. But you don't make a move to take things forward thinking it might ruin the relationship. Or maybe you just believe in perfect timing and are munching courage to pop it out in a traditional way on the Valentine's eve.
Well maybe while you were busy counting the stars , somebody else already stole your moon.


You know you have been performing really well on the work front and it's time for a Progression session in office. You see your peer's getting promoted and you wish the same. The verdict is out and you figure out that you are nowhere even close to the qualifying list. I laugh over it because it's the most common situation around. Well what usually goes wrong?
It's hard to accept but you just expect your BOSS to see how much efforts you have been putting in and you wait to be rewarded.
Wait for him to see the best in you. LOL
Kidding me if you still think WAIT WITHOUT ACTION WILL GET YOU A POSITIVE REACTION !! Besides modern day Bosses are not Angels from Heaven :)


You are on the road and "BOOM" u see an accident.. Well you can see a person getting badly hurt u feel bad inside and you stop to watch. But you just stop to watch what happens next.
You wait for somebody else to extend a helping hand to the poor injured person.
You talk of goodness but when it's the time to show it.. You just prefer to WAIT


You have had your heart-broken once again... You still love ur "ex" for XYZ reasons... You know it's not gonna work out but you wait like an idiot just with the thought of being together again.
Well you waste all the time in the world doing stupid things for the person that cares a damn for you - just waiting for them to realise your worth...
Needless to say, u actually being a "NUT"...


If it comes to penning down instances.. i can go ON and ON and ON...
But i prefer to now focus on the whole point of writing such a BIG note..

So here it goes ...
I read it somewhere and it says it all in the fewest possible words -  "DON'T WAIT FOR YOUR SHIP TO COME IN, SWIM OUT TO IT"


This is my first ever blog post...
Well I would admit this here that I have really been looking forward for exploiting this side of my personality for over a long time now.
When I thought of penning it down, I couldn't figure out an appropriate topic to get it all started..
But As I already quoted before, I hate to WAIT.. So that is it !!!.. I Got my topic :)

So for all you people reading this...
" Don't wait to show what you have .. Grab the moment and Go with it..."
Ahemmm... Well Don't wait to leave your kind comments ;)